On fortitude & survival

Sometimes a positive attitude is not enough. Sometimes, you have to endure something that no positive attitude can stand up to. Your only choice is to go head down, get through it, eyes on the prize or the light at the end of the tunnel or whatever imagery you need to ease your suffering. Because pain is part of life- and not all pain can be avoided.

The other day I was getting a painful procedure done and the doctor was amazed at my pain tolerance. He told me I was a "world record holder for pain endurance" He said "I guess after everything you've been through this is not that bad?" And I said, "Yes, totally, but also the way I get through everything is by reminding myself I can do anything for a minute." 

It's true- I can do anything for a minute. It's something I discovered in a body sculpting exercise class- when the instructor had us do approximately a thousand weighted squats. I was like nope. And the teacher was like "come on Dena, you can do anything for a minute." And so I did it, and my fortitude was born. 

There's a story I used to tell (back in my teen educator days) about a magic ring that would make the happiest man cry and the saddest man dry his tears. The ring wasn't magic - just engraved with the words "this too shall pass." 

Such a simple concept but so true - when you are sad, struggling, hurting, scared, bald, fragile, doing lunges- it's not going to be like that forever. 

If you can do anything for a minute, then why not as many minutes as it takes till it's over. This too shall pass. So I just breathe through that minute to the next one, and the next one, until I come out on the other side. I wouldn't say it's easy, but it works. 

But the flip side of this coin is that when I am happy, and I'm happy a lot, I need to stop- acknowledge it, appreciate it, revel in it- because the way life works some other curveball is bound to come my way and make me work towards that happiness again. 

Then again mama always said nothing worth having comes easy. 

Love,

The most high maintenance girl in the world (who has lots of hair now) 

Wedding Wednesday: LOVE jewelry

Yes, I love jewelry but this post is dedicated to my impressive collection of love RELATED jewelry. See, I am like that Rascal Flatts song (yes I went there) I want to love you out loud. I want to stand on the rooftops and shout it out. Or, as photo evidenced below, I want to proclaim it for all to see in a delicate golden necklace which lies perfectly on my collarbone.

 

D hearts S Necklace: Etsy, Amour Necklace: (Similar from Nordstrom), Plaid Shirt: Zara, Watch: Amazon (only $12!!) 

Paleo Caesar without Mustard

As someone who has faced many food restrictions for health reasons I have a deep and abiding empathy for anyone suffering from the above. Dealing with restrictions is hard - on your wallet, on your tastebuds, and on the pleasure that should come from sitting down to eat. With that in mind I have been playing with this Paleo ceasar recipe for the last few weeks with a few restrictions - no pepper, no dairy (for me), and no mustard seeds. After much experimentation (and a few, we'll call them "less than successes") I finally came up with the creamy, dreamy, tangy sauce. It is thick, luscious and has that certain extra little thang that you want from a salad dressing to cover that yucky lettuce taste (yup, I hate lettuce, I'm not gonna lie)

So here it is in all it's natural, easy to mix glory. Throw the ingredients below in a blender, watch them swirl into saucey goodness and enjoy! You may have to experiment a bit with my extra scientific measurements to get them to the taste you want.

PALEO CAESAR SANS MUSTARD
Ingredients:
2 egg yolks
A generous pour of olive oil
Juice of 1 lemon
1/4 tbsp of anchovy paste
Salt
2 garlic cloves, crushed & squished
1 generous tbsp of capers + a splash of the caper juice

**Pro tip: For a stronger flavored green like kale I added more lemon and anchovy paste, for something lighter like butter lettuce you may want to hold back a bit"

MONDAY INSPIRATION: The Holidays are HERE

It feels like Thanksgiving came soooo late this year. But it's here and with it comes joy, love, presents and a tartan glitter explosion that could warm even the scroogiest of hearts.

I have pretty much gone crafter crazy and it is awesome, can't wait to share some of these projects with you as part of my new series - DIY thursdays.

But it's Monday, and monday is for inspiration so for today's post I give you this winner:

From Pinterest

Lots of love & evergreen scented goodness to you,
D

My Modern Family

Maybe it's because the holiday season is all about family - or maybe the universe is conspiring to make my biological clock explode - but recently I've been having a lot of talks about infertility.

This may be because I was so open and public about my own struggles with infertility as I approached chemotherapy (which can cause infertility in a number of ways) or because I am so grateful for the generosity of the community which helped me to harvest and preserve my eggs before I started treatment. Either way, I've been thinking about, and having lots of conversations about family, and infertility.

Yup, I am engaged, and I can't wait to get married and start my family. I would like 6 children. But the biggest, and most significant side effect of my current treatment is that I can't get pregnant. The medicine would cause severe damage to any fetus inside of me.

And that means Family Planning for us requires actual planning.

So we decided that in addition to registering at Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel like the other couples, we were going to create a special registry to help us cover the cost of truly starting our family. The costs of IVF, surrogacy and adoption.

It's hard for me to think about not being able to have a baby myself. I have always, always wanted to be a mom. I go crazy over babies, kids, pregnant bellies. No story is too cute or too gross for me.

But when I feel myself getting down about not being able to get pregnant, I just remind myself that the 9 months of carrying the baby pale in comparison to what I'll get for the rest of their lives. Those 9 months are glorious, amazing and special, but that's just the beginning of the fun.

Infertility is not just a crushing emotional blow - it's insanely, prohibitively expensive to deal with. IVF, surrogacy, even adoption cost tens of thousands of dollars. I know in my heart of hearts that we will make amazing  parents, and that we have a gratuitous surplus of love to give, but first we have to figure out how to pay for them. So why not a wedding registry? Isn't the point to help us newlyweds as we build our new home and our new family? Plus, like, we already have a blender?

I know for some it may be weird to just put our issues out there like this. Trust me, it's not easy to be so open about this. Of all the things I've had to deal with in the last year and half since my diagnosis, this may be the most touchy and enduring of all of my challenges.

And so, in honor of thanksgiving, I just want to say that I am so grateful for all the love, hugs, laughs, wishes, positive energy, prayers, thoughts, smiles, pictures, stories, and gifts that have sustained me through the heinousness of the last year. If not for all of you, I would never be brave enough to ask for the help that I needed to get through this last year, and the challenges I will continue to face in the coming years. You make me feel brave enough to ask for the help to do things I want to do that cancer keeps me from doing.

And so, as you all sit down with your loved ones, friends and family this turkey day I hope that you can also be grateful for all of the blessing that you have, and will have, in the  years to come. I am so grateful and thankful for all of the love and support that I have in my life, for my amazing fiance, and for all of the progressive, thoughtful technology that exists around us which makes the impossible possible.

For those of you who want to see it, our very special registry can be found here, using the amazing websites created by my friends at Standbuy (an amazing resource for anybody with cancer who faces financial need).

So much love,

xoxox

Dena

Pinktober: Breast Cancer Awareness Month Product Picks

It's here, the pinkest month of the year. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and that means all kinds of delectable goodies with a good heart. It is never easier than in October (or more fun, or more pink) to give yourself a little something awesome AND have it benefit a good cause! I've been pouring over pink products all month trying to find the best, most awesome, most crave-able pink things, which also support charities doing essential work to find a cure for breast cancer. This is a project that's particularly close to my heart because, as a woman living with breast cancer, each and every one of these purchases will go to an organization which is trying to help me find a cure for the horrible disease which I live with everyday.

Thank you for shopping (and don't forget to check those breasts!!! )
xoxoxo
Dena

P.S. I have even more amazing finds on my luvocracy board! And if you're not luving stuff yet, you need to get on that ASAP :) and tell them I sent you.


This adorable brush and flattering-on-everyone pink blush looks gorgeous on every skin type AND $10 from every purchase goes to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation!!

Bobbi Brown French Pink Set  $45






Smells amazing, looks friggin adorable! Wild strawberry topnotes and portion of the proceeds will be donated to the National Breast Cancer foundation. What more could a girl ask for?

Marc Jacobs Daisy Hot Pink Limited Addition $79

100% of the net proceeds from this adorable and delicious lip balm funds breast cancer research charities! Eos Smooth Lip Balm Breast Cancer Awareness Fresh Watermelon and Strawberry $6 










My favorite brushes! Now in pink and 15% of the purchase price is donated to the Breast Cancer Research Fund!  Sonia Kashuk Proudly Pink Five-Piece Brush Set $16

 Show your ladies some love AND 20% of the purchase benefits breast cancer research! PLUS THEY GLOW UNDER BLACK LIGHTS, I mean, who thinks of this stuff? AMAZE.  Cosabella Glow for a Cure! Never Say Never Sweetie Soft Bra & Hottie Hot Pants 

Passion combines blooming peony and dewy garden roses with warm sandalwood and a hint of flowering pittosporum, Evelyn Lauder’s beloved fragrance note. “Passion honors the memory and the extraordinary achievements of Evelyn Lauder. Her passion and dedication to finding a cure for and preventing breast cancer by establishing The Breast Cancer Research Foundation are legendary. Not only did she raise awareness of breast cancer globally, she also inspired leading scientists to study the disease by funding ground-breaking research at renowned medical centers worldwide. I was inspired to create Passion after hearing Evelyn’s husband, Leonard, lovingly announce his commitment to continuing her critically important work. They were in this fight together, and NEST Fragrances is pleased to join them by supporting The Breast Cancer Research Foundation with Passion.”—Laura Slatkin, Founder and CEO of NEST Fragrances

A portion of all proceeds from this lush, floral candle will be donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Nest Passion Candle $28

Tummy Tuesdays: Tequila Lime Kale Chips

Did I mention I love simple, easy, semi-healthy recipes? Well this one is GREAT when that salty, crunchy chip craving hits and/or you are trying to eat more kale which is super trendy mega-food for good reason (vitamins, etc etc blah blah blah) I use cooking spray because I personally hate olive oil, and because I feel like it makes the chips crispier, but you can totally go super natural by just tossing the leaves in EVOO instead.
xoxox
Dena

Ingredients:

Bag of pre-washed, cut kale (or you know, farmers market kale, again lazy) 
Cooking spray or olive oil
Tequila Lime seasoning mix (like this one)

Directions: 
Preheat oven to 350. Place the kale on a sheet of aluminum foil or parchment paper. Spray liberally with cooking spray and season lightly with the season mix. Bake for 15-20 minutes until crispy. Nom.