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A letter to my mom's friends about my cancer





Dear Friends of Kathy,

I am writing this letter for my mom because she has a hard time writing about what's happening right now. And I can't blame her, her healthy 29 year old daughter has breast cancer. Where do you find the words to talk about something like that? 

Fortunately for all of us, I have inherited her amazing communication skills and I have no problem writing about what's happening to me. Here is the article I wrote when I first got my diagnosis. The response to the article was amazing, people from as far away as Peru and Indonesia were promising me to check themselves. This made me feel loved, supported and like I was actually doing something with this horrible hand that I had been dealt. 

Those same people, when they heard I could have over $10,000 worth of "quality of life" expenses that weren't covered by my insurance, set up a fundraiser on my behalf. In less than 24 hours, they have raised over $5,000  People are seriously amazing. http://www.giveforward.com/helpdenakickcancersass

Quality of life is a doctor term, but what it refers to are things like a decent hair prosthetic (wig), preserving my fertility which has a likelihood of being damaged by the chemo and things like ice packs, nutrition and other things to keep my spirits up while I go through a very yucky couple of months. 

It's so hard to ask for help, especially financial help, but I have always, always dreamed of having a baby. Actually a couple of babies. And, really, can you blame me? When you have a mom as amazing as mine, motherhood seems like the best job ever. 

When I found out that I had to have chemo my first thoughts were "OMG, I'm going to lose my hair" followed almost immediately by "OMG, I might never get to have a baby." These kinds of thoughts can crush your spirit, and if there is one thing every single doctor, survivor and expert I've talked to has told me, it's that you need your spirit.

There is no question that I am going to beat this thing, right now the questions are all about "quality of life" - how much will I let cancer take away from me? While my insurance and my doctors are covering all the things that will make my body healthy, they don't always cover the things that will keep my heart and my feelings healthy and that is where this fundraiser comes in. 

Thank you so much in advance for helping us the spread the word.
Lots of love,
Dena

PS: In case you missed it, here's my favorite article I have ever written, also consequently about my mom: The Best Dating Advice Ever, From My Mom