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My husband is a dreamboat. In the early days of our relationship I used him as a testimony to my skills at shopping. I joked that I ordered him online. He checks all. the. boxes.
Tall? 6'5. Smart? He went to Stanford, then worked as a research assistant at Harvard. I guess that will do. Good looking? Um, he modeled for a J Crew catalogue once. Successful? Well, he was in "the first 50" at a publicly traded company that everyone has heard of. So we'll go with yes. Athletic? He rowed crew at the aforementioned fancy school. Kind & Generous? Yup. Yup. Yup.
To say that my husband is a catch is like saying fashion girls like black. Nobody is going to argue with you. He's a human being, so he's not perfect, but in a world where such a thing as checklist's for human beings exists, he's a winner.
We met in an adorable way. I was writing a book about online dating for a startup, doing my research and messaging guys while also seeing someone IRL. He was not the one for me, but I wasn't ready to admit that yet. I messaged with my husband a lot but I refused to meet him, which probably drove him crazy as such a thing had never happened to him before.
Then I stopped seeing that other guy. I was finishing up edits on my book. I decided to message the guy who would come to be The Hubs. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. We talked on the phone for 3 hours. We arranged to meet that night for drinks. He was late (he's always late, see previous imperfections) and when he walked in, he walked right up to me, grabbed me and kissed me. We've been together ever since. His version of this story is, "We met for the first time at a bar and 90 seconds later we were making out." Men.
Our early relationship was basically one long date. From that first kiss we became inseparable. He was very honest with me that he was emerging from a very, um, single phase. There had been some drama. Lot's of girls thought that they could "change" him, but he wasn't ready to date. They said they understood, but then they flipped out when they realized he was serious. He warned me. He told me he felt differently about me. I believed him. I've always known I'm something of a catch, even if I occasionally acted like I didn't.
The walls in my apartment were very thin. We would have a date that would last for days. He would tell me he needed to leave for some kind of "work thing" later, but then we were having too much fun and he wouldn't want to go. He would see if he could "work something out." I would hear him in the other room canceling dates with other girls. The work thing would disappear. I would pretend I didn't hear, all while smugly smiling to myself and going about my life supremely confident that if he was the one for me everything would work out the way it was supposed to. I credit my mother with this rare and elusive confidence, which has always served me well.
About 3 weeks into this blissful, never ending hang we started going out in public together. His friends seemed to like me a lot, and I would find myself included in lots of social activities. Never a clinger, I would wander around on my own, having conversations with other people, going to the bathroom by myself. I'm a rebel.
I started to notice a strange phenomenon. Whenever I left Hubs, other girls would materialize at his side. If he beckoned me over, these same girls would dissolve. Disappear into thin air. Ghostly apparitions. Was I crazy? Hallucinating? Who were these phantoms haunting my consciousness?
But of course, they weren't phantoms. They were the ghosts of "girlfriends" past. Hubs was emitting what we like to call "taxi light on". They say men are like taxis, if the light isn't on, no matter how awesome you are, they just aren't going to take you home. Once the light comes on, well, it's open season.
to be continued...