What Happened to the Girl Code? Part 2: The Haunting
continued from Part 1
Never having been a woman who found taken men appealing, I was astonished to learn about this behavior. Realizing that hubs was starting to get serious about me, they thought to themselves, why her? Why this giant, size 10 brunette? Look how crazy she dresses. I am blonde, I have never eaten a carb in my life, all my shoes are from Tory Burch, we belong next to each other in the J Crew catalogue. ** If he's willing to get serious it should be with me and not her.
These women, some of whom had access to his phone, were omnipresent. One particularly aggressive one would see him at these events, WITH ME, and then have her friends yell at him while I was gone. Upset, he would tell me about this, filled with remorse at hurting them but confused because he had never been anything but honest with them about his intentions. He still doesn't understand women. Then, usually between the hours of 11pm and 2am, these same chicks would text him - apologetic, telling him they needed to talk in person, asking him to meet them. Lying next to him I would see these texts and feel nothing but pity. Why didn't these girls have friends who would take their phones away? My friends would never let me violate the girl code this way, would never let me send late night texts to a man I had seen several hours before on a date with another woman.
These texts continued once we'd moved in together. "Oh, I saw a (insert kind of dog you like) at the beach this morning. Now it's 11pm and I thought I'd text this picture to you in a super casual way. What're you doing right now?" We laughed together at their fecklessness, but in my stomach I just felt sad.
Who were these shameless girls? What happened to the girl code? When did it become OK to send late night texts to men you knew were in committed relationships?
I cannot say I have lived a perfect, innocent life, but going after someone who is seriously taken seems like a gigantic karmic misstep to me. It's just asking for trouble. There are actually enough men to go around. Every pot has a lid.
For the first time in my life I was in a totally committed, loving relationship where I felt 100% confident that this man had chosen me, so of course we were going to be constantly tested.
Women in bars would approach him and stroke his face. The late night texts continued. I took it all in stride - after all, he was mine. I had won. I hadn't tried to change him even a little bit, and because of that we were so happy, so confident in our rightness that even these blatant violations of the girl code seemed like nothing to me.
Then I found the lump.
To be continued...
**I have absolutely no evidence to support this except their aggressive behavior