Ways in Which I Resemble My Dog (or Vice Versa)

To those who find us good looking we are incredibly so - almost irresistablly cute and/or gorgeous. Definitely striking. Big moony dark-colored eyes, with a tilt that makes them look exotic in our otherwise European faces. Shiny chestnut coats and adorable freckling. 

Those who do not find us so appealing do so for the same reason - too big, too chesty. A curvy and muscular figure with long athletic limbs extending from a robust torso. Always smiling, or pouting or begging for affection, never neutral. 

Sleep is something we do with our faces smooshed so aggressively into the pillow that the skin of our lips fold into adorably unappealing shapes. Yes, he always sleeps with his head on a pillow whenever possible.  We also both hate being photographed sleeping, unless we are fake sleeping and posing. 

If one truth could be said of both of us it is this - we know how to work our angles for the camera, much to the chagrin of a population over-exposed to our stunning visage. In need of constant snuggling, cuddling, stroking, words of affirmation and treats, we consume attention with the same voracity we reserve for bacon and good cheese. 

Our preferred position for existence is lying on top of someone we love. There is no limit to the amount of time we can spend lolling around in bed and we have been known to build little nests for ourselves with our favorite toys (mine of the Apple variety, his of the stuffed.)

So many kisses are required to appease us that providing them could be considered a job, or at the very least a strong extra curricular. We prefer them on the mouth, but will accept cheek if it is our only option. PDA phases us not at all. 

 We love long walks on the beach, lying by the pool and sparkling water (yes, him too.) Bandanas are our favorite accessory, followed at a close second by festive Xmas headgear. 

Lack of exercise makes us horribly bored and prone to cause trouble. 

We are both terrible hoarders, who like to hide our most important stuff in places we can never find them again (him, food under pillows, me everything else.) 

We are both cancer survivors - as well as delicate flowers host to innumerable and expensive medical ailments of the tummy, skin and bones, all of which we bare with good humor and asking only for presents and to be held as often as possible. 

When we love someone we do so blindly, whole-heartedly and with endless devotion. If you mess with our people we will end you, and by that I mean make horrible noises with our mouthes until you wish you were dead. We are both, at the end of the day toothless pacifists. 






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