How to Fake Cool - Spring Edition

A follow-up to 5 Steps to Fake Being Cool - this time a transitional weather edition...


1. Lollipopping - Lampshading is the hot new thang (according to WhoWhatWear) originating from the Gigi/Jenner Squad but also favored by the likes of Rachel Zoe, her holiness Kate Moss, and other celebrities, whereby one pairs over-the-knee boots with an outsized sweatshirt/sweater top that hits the top of the boots. I consider this in the same vein because the proportions are similar - big, shapeless, high-necked, bulk on top, paired with skinny, skinny jeans. The idea is very "trying not to care but obviously I do because look at my bottom half" effortlessness. But also still kind of glam. The whole OTK boots with sweathshirt thing doesn't work amazingly well as a daytime look for actual humans (can you imagine me sauntering into Barry's bootcamp in my boots? Nope, me neither) but the idea of a big top, little bottom appeals to me for obvious genetic reasons. Since the term lampshading refers specifically to the boots pairing, I have decided to dub my style "lollipopping" whereby one wears a big, bulky top with very tight bottoms thereby simulating the appearance of a lollipop. There is no attempt to show or have a waistline. V. effortless which as we know is the secret to being "cool".

faux leather jacket | bow-neck blouse The Reformation (or try this)

2. Ridiculous Statement Sunglasses - Nothing says "Look at me. Don't look at me." like some gigantic, ridiculous glasses. They cover half your face, which makes them an amazing substitute for make-up/caring. At the same time, they draw so much damn attention to your face they are like neon signs, which I am also super into. Olivia Palermo gives some strong glasses game. The Italian designers do these the best (Prada, Gucci, Illesteva, Dolce & Gabbana) but the Australian's are a close and lovely second (Karen Walker, Quay) It used to be size alone was enough to make a statement, but alas no more. Now you want to look for interesting textures, colors, and lenses paired with gigantic face-framing size. Bonus points because sunglasses do extra to protect the extra-thin eye skin from the wrinkle-inducing rays of the sun.

SHOWN: Prada Studded Glasses OTHER STRONG PICKS: Prada Round Glasses | Dolce & Gabbana Floral Cat Eyes | Karen Walker Tortoise Exaggerated Cat Eye | Karen Walker Number One

3. All black, everything. Because, as we all know -

4. Bronde. Or sombre. or whatever combo-name hair color the cool kids are calling it these days. The grown out roots scream "low-maintenance" which is hilarious because every girl knows that there is absolutely nothing effortless about coloring your hair. However, the lightened locks add a certain Spring-iness to the all black look, making it feel "fresh" and seasonal. If fashion has taught us anything, it is that it must be seasonal - even living in San Francisco, which has no seasons.

5. Dancer posture. Just about the only thing that hasn't made it's way into the cultural gestalt is the slouching posture of the 90s.  Forget Calvin Klein ad Kate Moss, it's all about Calvin Klein FKA Twigs. Thank Barre classes and Ballet Beautiful, Karlie and Co. know that full spinal extension is the hotness.